Oh my...god, i just wanna burst with anger right now. Nothing is going my way. NOTHING.
I usually get depressed this time of the year but now i just feel..even more depressed then ever before. Maybe that's cause i've have a whole different life now compared to last year. My problems was revolved around school and the huge piles of homework we had was toring me apart. Now i just wanna rewind and go back to that time, cause the life i'm living now is just a..complete mess. Maybe i'm just in a temporary slump, but i dunno. The main problem is work. Workworkwork..which i constantly have to think and talk about, and i'm sick and tired of it. I just don't wanna give a damn anymore! I got a part time job and i know i should be grateful that i at least got one, but noone should feel bad every morning when they're going to work and have to deal with a boss that is literally bossing you around like you're their slave or something. Searching for a new job isn't going well either, and it gives me such panic cause the time is ticking and now i've already worked for a couple of months with this shit. I can't bare it. And as soon as i'm home everyone is picking on me. Feels like everybody else already have figured out their lives while i'm stuck in time and haven't accomplished anything. I should have a fulltime job and an apartment by know. That was my plan..which crashed. BAM. I thought about moving a long time ago, but then again i need money, which means that i need a job. On top of this, i get depressed just by watching the freaking weather outside the window. Gray, foggy and cold november. An eternal winter is ahead of us and the only good thing about it is christmas. That is the only thing that keeps me going right now, that i have something to look forward to. Maybe i'm exaggerating a bit, but my mood can change drastically just by the climate. I often ask myself, why the hell am i living in this country? Nothing fun ever happens here and it's cold most of the time. It's just dead. And don't get me started about the people. So dull.
Except from me and my friends. We're awesome. Hehe..Maybe that has something to do with it. Can't see my friends this weekend because of work, and that makes me down. Luckily i had the chance to meet one of them yesterday. Spend the night at her place watching Sailor Moon. The show is my drug now. It makes me happy and if i'm not watching it when i'm at home i get panic. It's freaking me out. I promised myself to wait a long while until i can watch it over again, but since we watched it yesterday i feel the urge to do it tonight too.Just one episode then I HAVE to wait, cause then it'll be more exciting to watch it.
Oh, i wasn't suppose to write such a long post, but what the heck, i needed this to clear my head from the frustation.
Seiya No Omoi:
It's like this song is a sum of all the mixed feelings i have right now. When i listen to it i feel like crying, smile, scream..everything
I usually get depressed this time of the year but now i just feel..even more depressed then ever before. Maybe that's cause i've have a whole different life now compared to last year. My problems was revolved around school and the huge piles of homework we had was toring me apart. Now i just wanna rewind and go back to that time, cause the life i'm living now is just a..complete mess. Maybe i'm just in a temporary slump, but i dunno. The main problem is work. Workworkwork..which i constantly have to think and talk about, and i'm sick and tired of it. I just don't wanna give a damn anymore! I got a part time job and i know i should be grateful that i at least got one, but noone should feel bad every morning when they're going to work and have to deal with a boss that is literally bossing you around like you're their slave or something. Searching for a new job isn't going well either, and it gives me such panic cause the time is ticking and now i've already worked for a couple of months with this shit. I can't bare it. And as soon as i'm home everyone is picking on me. Feels like everybody else already have figured out their lives while i'm stuck in time and haven't accomplished anything. I should have a fulltime job and an apartment by know. That was my plan..which crashed. BAM. I thought about moving a long time ago, but then again i need money, which means that i need a job. On top of this, i get depressed just by watching the freaking weather outside the window. Gray, foggy and cold november. An eternal winter is ahead of us and the only good thing about it is christmas. That is the only thing that keeps me going right now, that i have something to look forward to. Maybe i'm exaggerating a bit, but my mood can change drastically just by the climate. I often ask myself, why the hell am i living in this country? Nothing fun ever happens here and it's cold most of the time. It's just dead. And don't get me started about the people. So dull.
Except from me and my friends. We're awesome. Hehe..Maybe that has something to do with it. Can't see my friends this weekend because of work, and that makes me down. Luckily i had the chance to meet one of them yesterday. Spend the night at her place watching Sailor Moon. The show is my drug now. It makes me happy and if i'm not watching it when i'm at home i get panic. It's freaking me out. I promised myself to wait a long while until i can watch it over again, but since we watched it yesterday i feel the urge to do it tonight too.Just one episode then I HAVE to wait, cause then it'll be more exciting to watch it.
Oh, i wasn't suppose to write such a long post, but what the heck, i needed this to clear my head from the frustation.
Seiya No Omoi:
It's like this song is a sum of all the mixed feelings i have right now. When i listen to it i feel like crying, smile, scream..everything
Inga kommentarer:
Skicka en kommentar